Game of Thrones 2017 Season Predictions

Game of Thrones season six just ended. I really enjoy the show. I've only read the first book, so I'm focusing on the TV universe here when I say that it has jumped the shark. It was a good run, but the pop culture virus that makes all great franchises more consumable, more watered-down, has finally infected the HBO series. Also, George R.R. Martin is apparently no longer the source material for the series--it has begun its own path.

When the season started back in April, I had this funny feeling that the storylines were being dragged out. For instance, Arya was basically waffling around for 3 episodes until something interesting happened. The same goes for Daenerys... a few small scenes could have summed up her story arc, rather than 8 episodes of fluff. And, let's not mention Bran's ability to time travel... what a bad writing choice.

The other problem, and I think it was not a decision by the producers and writing staff, was to have a "Previously, on Game of Thrones" segue to help people understand what scenes are about to unfold. One thing that Game of Thrones (and HBO) could hang its hat on is its elitist attitude toward cable TV. I really hate this opener, but unfortunately this is a really commonplace crutch that is beneficial to newbies, invalids, and the infirmed.

ANYWAY, here are my predictions for Season 7:

• Something only mildly interesting will be revealed (Episode 1, Episode 4)
• The Hound and Arya will become a Murder Team (Episode 5)
• The Wall will be partially destroyed (Episode 8)
• Cersei will become pregnant (Episode 9)
• Nothing will happen with Dany's army until Episode 3
• Bran's magic will reboot the timeline and ruin the entire show (Episode 9)

I'll post and update more as I think of crazy-ass TV tropes between now and next spring. We are Sparta!