Indiana Jones 5 title speculation

With the nearing release of Spielberg's adaptation of Ready Player One, I wanted to take the opportunity to try and predict the plot and title of the announced sequel to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Here goes...

Credit

It's going to be about the afterlife. Hell, they've already covered aliens... How do you top extraterrestrials? I can guarantee mortality will be the motif.

Now for setting, I suspect something Egyptian. The Lost Ark was in Egypt, but the Ancient Egyptian culture is ripe for Indy. Perhaps the founding of Israel? It could be about Jewish/Christian mythology, too, but that's already been played in two of the movies. Maybe undead things?!? I'm going to maybe surmise there will be a sacrifice or even a zombification of the hero. Maybe that's a reach...

I definitely know things that it won't do: dinosaurs, killer sharks, friendly aliens, the Holocaust (see a theme here?)

My educated guesses:

• Indiana Jones and the Afterlife
• Indiana Jones and the Cult of Osiris
• Indiana Jones and the Land of the Dead
• Indiana Jones and the Torment of the Undead
• Indiana Jones and the Spectre of the Tomb
• Indiana Jones and the Tomb of the Messiah
• Indiana Jones and the Mortal Coil
• Indiana Jones and the Deathly Hallows
• Indiana Jones Meets the Grim Reaper!

Blade Runner & BR2049 opening crawl text

I kept getting lost in Google searches looking for this info, so I'm posting this info for all the world to find. I left the grammar and punctuation intact. Forget about Star Wars opening crawls, these are the gold standard.

Blade Runner (1982)

Early in the 21st Century, THE TYRELL CORPORATION advanced Robot evolution into the NEXUS phase - a being virtually identical to a human - known as a Replicant.

The NEXUS 6 Replicants were superior in strength and agility, and at least equal in intelligence, to the genetic engineers who created them.

Replicants were used Off-world as slave labor, in the hazardous exploration and colonization of other planets.

After a bloody mutiny by a NEXUS 6 combat team in an Off-world colony, Replicants were declared illegal on earth - under penalty of death.

Special police squads - BLADE RUNNER UNITS - had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicant.

This was not called execution.
It was called retirement.

***

Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

REPLICANTS ARE BIOENGINEERED HUMANS, DESIGNED BY TYRELL CORPORATION
FOR USE OFF-WORLD. THEIR ENHANCED STRENGTH MADE THEM IDEAL FOR SLAVE LABOR

AFTER A SERIES OF VIOLENT REBELLIONS, THEIR MANUFACTURE BECAME
PROHIBITED AND TYRELL CORP WENT BANKRUPT

THE COLLAPSE OF ECOSYSTEMS IN THE MID 2020s LED TO THE RISE OF INDUSTRIALIST
NIANDER WALLACE, WHOSE MASTERY OF SYNTHETIC FARMING AVERTED FAMINE

WALLACE ACQUIRED THE REMAINS OF TYRELL CORP AND CREATED A NEW
LINE OF REPLICANTS WHO OBEY

MANY OLDER MODEL REPLICANTS -- NEXUS 8s WITH OPEN-ENDED LIFESPANS -- SURVIVED.
THEY ARE HUNTED DOWN AND 'RETIRED'

THOSE THAT HUNT THEM STILL GO BY THE NAME ...

BLADE RUNNER

***

Sources:

* http://www.trussel.com/bladerun.htm
* https://www.reddit.com/r/bladerunner/comments/75lmev/request_the_opening_text_for_2049/?st=jcj8n5t3&sh=0ec32b14
* https://youtu.be/u9L0pord5jE
* https://youtu.be/-fu7jN2_2pE

The Best Vietnam Song

What is the best musical expression to fit the Vietnam Conflict? ...I know what I'm getting into here. Nostalgia. Stepping on the memories of vets. Rolling Stones bashing.

The war happened between 1963 and 1972: Military overconfidence, civilian casualties, strung-out draftees. Even in the wake of the aftermath, artists still wrote about the conflict. But which has the perfect vibe?

A few songs come to mind:

• "Blowin' in the Wind" (1963)
• "The Times They Are a-Changin'" (1964)
• "I Can't Get No (Satisfaction)"  (1965)
• "The End" (1967)
• "White Rabbit" (1967)
• "Give Peace a Chance" (1969)
• "Fortunate Son" (1969)
• "War Pigs" (1970)
• "Born in the USA" (1984)

Now Bob Dylan was mega in that era. A poetic and a reluctant leader. He would deny the Sixties and probably say he was above the war and politics. I'm going to throw him out, yes I am.

"Satisfaction" by the Stones seems almost perfect. Not for the content, but the attitude. Who can forget the water skiing scene in Apocalypse Now? But, it's not there yet. In that same film, "The End" destroys a treeline (and a man) with atonal cacophony. And that's what Vietnam encapsulated: Western cacophony. But, the Doors are a little too hipster for the demographic of Army grunts, aren't they?.

"White Rabbit" seems ideal with the whole drug culture thing. But, not everyone did dope. And, the crescendo ending is almost triumphant. Vietnam wasn't about triumph. Creedence Clearwater Revival is the face of Southern rock. And, I must have looped "Fortunate Son" once for a straight hour. But, I feel that this is a song for all the people who didn't get drafted. It wasn't an anthem for soldiers, was it?

Black Sabbath doesn't bring Saigon or Mekong to mind. I feel it was a tad too heavy for the time, an eclectic track. Now, a classic; then, an outsider metal song.

I doubt most veterans realize "Born in the U.S.A." is anti-Vietnam. It came out in the 80s, and had every American flag-waver singing the chorus (but ignoring the verses). Ironic, and probably frustrating for Springsteen. Really good songwriting... not depressing enough.

....There is one song, unlisted and relatively unknown to pop culture. And, to be honest, it--above all others--captures the essence of Vietnam. The essence that Capt. Benjamin Willard shows in the Kurtz compound. The paranoia, the distress... raw insanity. Synthesizers. Fucking 'Nam.


The Frogs are a weird band, no getting around that. So obscure, yet so respected by the rock community. Kind of like the Shaggs, even down to the family connection. But not really.

They have a song, not on any of their albums, which succinctly describes this War. Napster brought this song to my ears. My best guess for recording year is 1995.

"'Nam" starts with a warm synthesizer, and like any good epic, resonates with an opening: "I wish to God/I'd never gone/to Vietnam". And, from there, the descent into madness. It's more of a soliloquy than a song.

God, did they nail it. The nature of modern warfare is there. It's almost soothing. Free form droning with barely a rhyme (just like Vietnam). Sound effects like helicopter propellers and gunfire--real horror gunfire--issue from the left speaker. And, the wails of women are heard.

Their song is a soldier's recollection of Vietnam in a sequence of random imagery and inner dialogue. I can imagine a veteran smoking on his couch. M16 in-hand, eyes glazed over, recanting his successes and failures through military service. Spouting lines like he's flipping through TV stations. One minute he's talking about being a hero, the next he's torturing a Vietcong. Fantasizing about girls he left back home; then Comin' Home in a Body Bag rants. It's all violent, even the crying.

The synth pulses sound like a funeral dirge... a predecessor to Radiohead's piano experiments. Dennis Flemion's voice sounds sneering, fragile, whiny, angry, real. The final couplet summarizes the war like a sportscaster: USA, zero. Vietnam, one.

It clocks in at over eight minutes and there's nothing I can find about it online. So, I'm posting the file and the lyrics for posterity's sake.

Edit: forgot to name-drop Alice in Chains "Rooster"!

The MP3 is available here.

Further reading:

• http://www.rjsmith.com/vietnam-era-music.html
• http://www.jwsrockgarden.com/jw02vvaw.htm
• http://www.ichiban1.org/html/music.htm
• http://betterinhaledeeply.blogspot.com/2006/03/top-ten-vietnam-songs.html

'Nam Lyrics

 -

There were years
There were years
Those were years,
I'd like to forget.
 

I wish to God
I'd never gone
to Vietnam

Fuckin' 'Nam!
Fuckin' 'Nam!
Viet Nam!

There were times
Had to shoot
Fucking had to shoot
my gun

There were times
(Vietnam)
when the pain
got so bad
in 'Nam

Maybe took
Gook by the hair
Did some damage
in Vietnam

Yeah
apologies came later
Said I was sorry
Said I was sorry
for the My Lai Massacre

Havin' kicks
Havin' my kicks
with a broad.
Vietnam.

People think it was a joke:
Listen to rock n' roll music
and drive around in cars.

Well, I fought
for our freedom
in Vietnam

Fuckin' Vietnam.
It wasn't fun.

What was it like in.....
Vietnam?

Did I say it sucked?

Rice paddy nights
No light
The light was gone

Occasionally
we had some fun
Maybe pull out a gun
Re-slant the Gook's eyes
 

I said I was sorry
for the shit in 'Nam
Yeah, I came back a hero
from Vietnam.

Still trying to get over
the good times
Good times I had
Everything was fun,
Vietnam

Oh, I cried a lot of tears
Charlie don't surf no more
He got, he got
fucked up behind the ears

Excuse me, I have to fight again.
 

(Sorry about that.
It's just, just part of
the way things are in Vietnam.)

Did you get my letter?
Did you get my letter?
I know you'll still love me
when I get back home.

After all, it's part of
my reward
for the good I've done.

It's going to be nice
being
decorated with medals.
Gonna be good times.

Everyone will cheer.
Throw up their arms
and climb
to the highest sphere.

I'm a hero now.
The War days are done.
They're behind me now.

They shouldn't have let me
Shouldn't have let me
bring home my gun.

Everyone once in awhile
I get the fuckin' memories,
Vietnam.

You'll maybe see
a Gook's head
A baby head
Floating in a river.
Da Nang.
Vietnam.

Sorry Charlie,
you don't fucking
surf no more.

Charlie don't fucking
live no more.
He don't.
He don't live no more
in Vietnam.

Others shipped him home
In a bag.
It was his bag
to be shipped home
from Vietnam.

Job well done!
Vietnam!

USA, zero.
Vietnam, one.

Gentlemen Broncos quotes?

Wow. People must really abhor this film. I can only find two goddamn quotes on the entire web for this entirely quotable, Napoleon Dynamite-caliber* film. I make it my mission to make the first reasonable fan page in existance. (Perhaps) my fanpage will contain:

• Bronco (and Broncanuss) full body shots
• Yeast lore
• Ronald Chevalier's guide to character naming
• Popcorn balls

And, what's with the lack of video clips? Was there a RIAA witchhunt for them?

*in quotability

P.S.: Rotten Tomatoes is the worst. Biased, fanboy, fickle, myopic, etc.

Best music videos of the decade (15 - 11)

#15

"Lose Control" (2005)

Missy Elliott with Ciara and Fatman Scoop
Director: Dave Meyers
We start off with Missy's 2005 contribution to the video pantheon. If anything defines a good R&B video, it's dance moves, weird cameos and other sillyness. "Lose Control" is just perfect for a high school pep squad... kinda like Gwen Stefani tracks but with a little less cheerleading and a fat guy... and Tommy Lee.

#14

"Cinnamon Girl" (2004)

Prince
Director: Phil Harder
Mix up some September 11th airport paranoia with crayon-y special effects, and you've got Prince's most political track ever. Yes, that is the Whale Rider girl; and no, I don't know what the "5:5" means on Prince's forehead. Undoubtedly the best Prince video in the last 10 years. But, it barely beat out "Black Sweat"...

#13

"Across the Night" (2003)

Silverchair
Directors: Sean Gilligan and Sarah-Jane Woulahan
Silverchair quietly made some spectacular vids in the last decade. At least 3 are in the Top 50 for me, and "Across the Night" is their best. In a time where the band was on an indefinite touring hiatus and the future was dim, this managed to keep the band alive through airwaves. I didn't even realize it was in grayscale until a second viewing. It took me about 20 views to realize that was Guy Pearce, too.

Faith No More -- a music video retrospective

Because this San Fransisco band just recently announced reformation (and performed live), I decided to quickly cover Faith No More's best three videos in one quick shot. We have, of course "Epic"; and then the lesser known "Everything's Ruined" and "Last Cup of Sorrow" from their career's prime and twilight, respectively.

In 1990, Faith No More's "Epic" put them on the rock 'n roll map. The band seemed poised to overcome the "hair metal hangover" with an innovative rap-rock design--they might have been the Nirvana of the 1990s, if grunge hadn't come around (I'm not placing blame at all).



1989
Dir: Ralph Ziman
The video is simply a sound stage performance with a rain machine, intermixed with kooky visuals and special effects. Mike Patton's head explodes, Jim Martin's guitar is struck by lightning, a piano is blown to bits... pretty cool. I am obligated to write about the fish (or Bjork's fish, whatever), that provoked outrage for its flopping footage. Silly.



1992
Dir: Kevin Kerslake
More interesting is the video for "Everything's Ruined". It's one of those stock footage montage clips that are so common. But this one is so odd that it's worth noting. This one pits the band against the green screen, fighting and swimming with the clips. It's fun to watch them in their element.