Best of the Year 2017: New TV

The average intake of a human and a TV screen is increasing. But, hell... I can't remember what I watched. So, I've only got two stand-out TV shows that I know were new in 2017:

• The Young Pope
• Taboo

Older shows watched in '17, ranked:

1. Game of Thrones
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm*
3. Walking Dead
4. Twin Peaks*
5. Leftovers
6. Penny Dreadful
7. Life's Too Short
8. Mike Tyson Mysteries
9. The Moaning of Life
10. Toast of London
11. The Detectorists
12. Girls
13. Departures
14. Silicon Valley
15. Documentary Now!
16. The Simpsons
17. Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter
18. MST3K: The Return*
19. Halt and Catch Fire
20. Stranger Things
21. Trek: TNG***

* = Revivals

*** = Reruns (off the air for quite a while)

Best of the Year 2017: Music album

Is This the Life We Really Want?
Roger Waters

Ignore all controversies over the man and focus on the artwork. From an angry Brit ex-pat comes a symbol to the American condition. It's The Wall updated for a 21st century angst. This is the timely protest album you want.


DAMN.
Kendrick Lamar

I rarely have patience for rap/R&B, but this album caught my attention. Check out "Element", "Humble", and "Fear" now.


Heaven Upside Down
Marilyn Manson

Hyped as SAY10 and delayed for quite awhile, this album delivers with songs like "Saturnine" (read the lyrics) the pseudo-title track ("Say10"). "We Know Where You Fucking Live" shows Manson hasn't lost his anger.


Whiteout Conditions
The New Pornographers

Never really liked this band until I heard this album. "This is the World of the Theater" and "Second Sleep" are good starters. More like White House Conditions, am I right???

Honorable Mentions

Patriots Day
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Vietnam War
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Creep EP
No Joy

The Last American Jedi

Has Star Wars always been painted into a corner? Has the 1977 action classic doomed it with an unavoidable fate?

With a title like Last Jedi, any cinemaphile should roll their eyes. The "last" of something is so silly because nothing really ever dies or ends in our culture. Last of the Mohicans, Last Man Standing, Last Action Hero, Last Days, Last Waltz, Last Picture Show, etc etc etc. This isn't Freddy vs. Pinhead vs. Jason vs. Pumpkinhead: the Last Nightmare we're talking about here--this is holy Star Wars! Putting "the Last [...]" or "American [...]" in your movie title is quite unoriginal. Why are humans so interested in starting over?

The theme of the film is "failing is the best way to learn". Going in, I was expecting an Empire Strikes Back "downer". Instead I got something... unpredictable. I'm still not sure if I love it or hate it (probably something in between). I recall many corny jokes (they won't age well, trust me).

Poe is an interesting character, but nothing really happened to him. Nothing really dramatic happened to anyone except the expendable characters. "Come, children, gather 'round to hear the story of the daring rise of Poe Dameron and his trials and tribulations." That might make for a great story. What doesn't make for a great character arc is everyone else in the film.

The Harry Potter-esque space horses were distracting, as were the stupid crystal foxes. Those moments were definitely not Star Wars (and bad CGI).

It was weird seeing Yoda, which most people revere as a divine character in all of cinema. He was giggling a lot, which I don't remember happening during Luke's training sequence (after the first meeting). Anyway, I'm OK with Force Ghost Yoda. Thank god he wasn't CGI. And I'm OK with all of it--burning it all down; doing the opposite of everything expected.

But, I know that Disney will look at the numbers and want something more safe for the next episode. This is probably one reason that JJ Abrams is coming back. I don't want that.

Let's do a thought experiment for an Alternate Reality. What if Star Wars Episode XIII was a predictable sequel? Storyline: Rey is trained by Luke; Luke and Rey fight Snoke, killing Luke; Snoke reigns terror, causing Ben Solo to turn to the light side. Rey joins forces with Ben with a possible romantic undertone. Finn & Poe help out a lot, but the First Order still threatens in the end.

Would that satisfy? In this Age of Fan Service, does anything? The answer depends on the execution: cinematography, sound, acting, and editing all can make or break a film. The story isn't as important as you think.

Is the mark of a good film one that makes you excited for what happens next?

Tangentials:

What is the name of the next Episode? Ideas:

• Return of the Republic
• Knights of the New Republic
• Dawn of the New Republic
• Rise of the Rebels
• The Force Uprising
• The Wrath of Yoda
• The Second Order
• Dual of the Forces

~~~

I also want to take a moment to stress that the original Star Wars trilogy is NOT sci-fi. It's an action movie, for one. Sci-fi is usually slow and deals in physics and hard science. The Force is magic; the Jedi is spiritual--two things right there that disqualify it. Star Wars is fantasy--implausible in the real world. Yes, many of the characters are considered "human", but they aren't from Earth. And, Jesus Christ, Leia flying through space was pure fantasy.

~~~

I just learned that the shitloads of old Star Wars books from the 90s were declared non-canon and replaced with canonical Disney books. I never consider franchise books part of canon, especially if they are spawned from films. Oh well, I've never read any of `em!

Best of the Year 2017: Song

"ELEMENT."
Kendrick Lamar

I know that "HUMBLE." gets all the attention, but "ELEMENT." is just as good and the music video is underrated.




"Hellhole"
No Joy

The dreamscape of No Joy's Creep EP are wonderful. You should check them out.


"Saturnalia"
Marilyn Manson

I overlooked this lyrical monster on the first few listens of Heaven Upside Down, but then I realized the sound and texture made it the best on the album.


"Second Sleep"
The New Pornographers

This is a glimpse of the future (listen to it with headphones).


"Creature Comfort"
Arcade Fire

A simple song about the vanity of suicide, but so sonically optimistic.


***


Honorable Mention: "Love and Sex"
Prince and the Revolution

Though not recorded anywhere near 2017 (even though the beat seems new), this song finally saw the remastered release it deserved. What a jam!


Honorable Mention: "Other Ways to Get to the Same Place"
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Though lyricless, this masterful score moment for Ken Burns' Vietnam War draws a bleak landscape of mind and conflict. Man, that sentence sounded pretentious...

Edge of Human (Blade Running Blues)

[Semi-spoiler-free review of Blade Runner 2049]

• Replicants are bioengineered humans, designed by Tyrell corporation for use off-world. Their enhanced strength made them ideal slave labor.
• After a series of violent rebellions, their manufacture became prohibited and Tyrell corp went bankrupt.
• The collapse of ecosystems in the mid 2020s led to the rise of the industrialist Niander Wallace, whose mastery of synthetic farming averted famine.
• Wallace acquired the remains of Tyrell corp and created a new line of replicants who obey.
• Many older model replicants - Nexus 8s with open-ended lifespans - survived. They are hunted down and 'retired'.
• Those that hunt them still go by the name... Blade Runner

It’s a very quiet movie. The score is used sparingly and there are long pauses in dialog. The theater (surprisingly packed) is filled with occasional coughs. Loud coughs, small coughs, short coughs from the front, from behind, from the side. I imagine a plague, a superflu that starts slowly. The human race is always weak against slow builds--they never forsee a creeping doom.

I thoroughly enjoy seeing a movie spoiler-free. I do watch much-awaited movie trailers, but not too close to the release date. I loathe early reviews... those critics and starving writers wanting their opinion to be the first.

I remember 1998’s fated Godzilla big budget blockbuster. The early movie trailers avoided showing the monster’s full face and figure. Eventually, as summer came and the movie premiered, the face and body were no longer a spoiler. I remember feeling spoiled when I saw the full lizard, because I didn’t see the movie until it was on VHS. Now, I shield my eyes from TV teasers, so I can go in pure, unfettered. I’m thinking, “maybe I can outguess the director and discover the plot using my Holmesian powers”. Usually, I am surprised and pleased to see a movie unfold different from my dreams. And this happened for Blade Runner 2049.

A few days before I saw BR49, I went to the Wikipedia article on it to look up a character name. For some reason, I had to know what Ryan Gosling was doing in this film. And, to my dismay, I thought I had seen too much. The next morning in bed, I woke up with an epiphany to the plot. I knew the director (Denis Villeneuve) had a penchant for plot twists, and I believed we were going to get a “twin” event. If you’ve ever seen his Enemy, you’ll know where my head was:

I dreamed up a movie where Ryan Gosling was playing both a replicant and a human. Each scene with a Gosling would jump between the human and the copy character. They looked and sounded the same, but one was real and the other was manufactured. We wouldn’t find out until the end that there were two characters on the clock. It seemed very Villeneuvien to me, so I went with it. But, to my joy I was totally wrong. That dream-movie would make a great sequel to what I witnessed in 2049.

The Harrison Ford and “Rachel” scenes were the least interesting in the film. But I guess there were old fans to placate. A CGI Sean Young seemed tacked-on. What I’m impressed by is new sci-fi ideas. Novel ideas thrown onto the screen like:

• A portable hologram girlfriend that can be erased forever (just like a real one)
• Farming synthetically (replicant animals that humans eat?)
• A terrorist attack, deleting all cloud data
• Memory fabrication
• Nuclear Vegas

If it were to be compared to the 1992 or even 1982 version of the original, I would say ‘49 has 90% less Asian influence with 80% more detective work.

I remember bleak silence. Silence (with no coughing plague).

The only thing I distinctly remember from the PKD novel (Androids/Sleep) is the ending. I was on a plane to somewhere, reading in my seat. At the end of the book, Decker is outside of the city and he finds a toad. He believes it is the real thing and it uplifts him immensely. He goes on thinking that for several pages, but in the end, it turns out to be synthetic.

MST3k Return thoughts

There used to be two camps when it comes to MSTies: Team Joel or Team Mike. I'm in the Michael J. Nelson camp (the 1997 Sci-Fi Channel Latter Day camp) and I enjoy it. Yes, I was introduced later than the die-hards, but I saw the majority of the classic master-riffs that most people acknowledge and remember fondly:

Mike MSTers get:

• Deathstalker!
• Mole People
• Jack Frost
• Prince of Space
• Neptune Men
• Space Mutiny
• Pumaman
• Touch of Satan
• The Final Sacrifice
• Merlin's Shop
• Final Justice
• Diabolik

With Joel, I can only think of a handful of notable ones. Yes, Manos was under Hodgson's watch, I give you that.

Anyway, now it's 2017 and we have a 3rd MST3K Camp: Team Jonah.

I've finished the first episode (Reptilicus) of the Netflix revival, and I have some thoughts.

I've come in with fresh eyes and cautious optimism with it, and really read nothing about it other than it was a Kickstarter project by Joel, and neither him nor Mike were going to be in the new run.

It seems like more of a kids show now than ever. The intro and the segues are really dumb and involve a large amount of poppy music. And, although a lot of their jokes are still esoteric references, you can tell they've watered it down a little for the Netflix demographic. I can't blame them for that, but why are they still riffing old movies if they're targeting a younger audience? I guess licensing rights ($$$) is the answer.

My biggest criticism has to be the casting. Jonah doesn't seem to have any character--he's like Joel and Mike, but he doesn't have anything interesting going on about him. I don't even know where the character was born and raised. Does he have a family? Any interests other than white-boy rapping?

And worse, to my surprise, the voices of Tom Servo and Crow have changed. They offer no explanation, and they probably want you to realize that they are robots with adjustable voice output. This fucks with me really hard, and it's difficult to get past. Kevin Murphy in particular was one of my favorites, especially his joke-writing. Way less annoying than Crow T. Robot (Bill Corbett).

With The Return, it seems they are trying really too hard. The jokes-per-minute (JPM) value is way up to where you can barely pay attention to the movie plot.

They are doing a lot of gags where they interact with the screen, and it's kind of annoying. I wasn't impressed the first time Tom Servo flew around the screen, so why do it three times? Are they showing off their new tech?

Anyway, lots more to watch, even though watching this makes me feel old.

Maybe I'll post again with a large apology to the backers and writers and production crew. Maybe not.

This is also an opportunity to name-drop Master Pancake Theater (formerly Mister Sinus Theater). Their Christmas Show is a must-see.

February Music Selections

Hello!

I've decided to semi-regularly share what I've been listening to on Spotify.

No Joy
Creep
https://open.spotify.com/track/2swoHVIIKyutOuTzbSh7iq

No Joy is best described as "dream metal"... they have a little dreampop but they can also go really hard. Once you get past that they're not a girl band, let this EP take you on a journey. Each song is distinct, and you'll switch favorite tracks with every playthrough. "Flourescent Dread" even goes into  Black Moth Super Rainbow territory.

--

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
Patriots Day
https://open.spotify.com/track/1eoOsZ6dnCFVc0tsxQEpMZ

A more-than-just-muzak soundtrack with the best songs starting with Track 8 ("The Night Drive"). Give it a listen!

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Japandroids came out with a new album, and so did Cloud Nothings. I gave both thorough listens, but really the only standout was the 'droid's "Arc of Bar": https://open.spotify.com/track/0nnhuE1op1Yt3v9vDI4IWt

The Flaming Lips captured my attention for a time, but after repeated listens the album just didn't hold up.

I tried to listen to the new single by Bush, but it didn't inspire me to check out their back catalog.

---

Prince
Sign 'o' the Times
https://open.spotify.com/track/5xP9clzYBKZ6F3u2VZUaBJ

I've been a big fan of this album for years, but right now I have "Housequake" stuck in my head. Starting with that song, the next 4-5 songs are just incredible. My only critique is that the title track could be about 1 minute shorter. It boggles my mind that this came out in '87.

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Other than that, I've been previewing singles from bands that have recently reunited--Ride, Slowdive, At the Drive-in.