Lyric Entry #0002

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and fuck with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

Life Regarding Australia (Part 3 of 137)

There are a few things I will remember about my time at Adventurers Backpackers Resort. One is the noise. Two is the boredom. Three is the pain. The hostel was an old three-story motel, complete with a pool on the 3rd floor. It was sparsely populated in January (the dead part of the season), and the people who lived there were construction workers and miners who were too cheap to live in an apartment. There was a large open rec' room and a gigantic kitchen with gas pilots. All in all, not bad and basically quiet unless you were in the "inner ring" (the rooms facing the parking area). My first room there was a single (in the outer ring), facing the bus stop and the railroad.

The hostel was in the beginnings of the bad part of town. The backpackers was on trendy Palmer Street. This was not a bad street, it just *became* bad about 50 m (learn metric!) from the last fish 'n chips shop. Seedy characters, who did or did not live in the hostel were always roaming around. Resident miners and workers would get shitfaced every night, and sing anthems like soccer hooligans. Being a foreigner in a foreign land, it was kind of frightening. Sometimes it was as scary as Flinders Mall at night (I'll explain later). Palmer St. also had a "men's hostel" nearby that was unbecoming, and parallel was the Railway Estates. The construction workers felt right at home, maybe because at 6 AM they would walk next door and resume hammering and banging on a new condo project. The noise.

Basically I worked 9-5, and the rest of the time was free. I didn't make any friends (it wasn't the friendliest hostel), so I was sure glad I brought my Gameboy Advance. There was not much to do if you didn't have a car or bike. Taxis weren't cheap, and the city had a tendency to favour those with wheels. The malls were too far away. The beach was a 30-min walk, Flinders St was 10-min, the cinema was 20-min, the ferry was 30-min (explained later) and the rock pool was a solid hour. The first few days in the hostel, I walked around in my beloved Van skate shoes. Those started to hurt me, so I bought some thongs (sandals) and figured I would be good. Not so. There was a lot of fucking walking without wheels. Eventually, I got the stamina and the callouses, but in the meantime, I had to bide my time staring at cinder block walls in my room, and try to write a little and read a little. I played Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, Metroid Fusion and Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap all the way through. The boredom and the pain.

(continued...)

Lyric Entry #0001

Beyond the palace hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard
The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors
And the boys try to look so hard
The amusement park rises bold and stark
Kids are huddled on the beach in a mist

Life Regarding Australia (Part 1 of 137)

Tonight, before I settled down to bed with a cup of tea and a ratty novel, I told my friend that there is no such thing as nonfiction. History books, scientific journals, autobiographies--they can't be 100% truthful. We are human and we embellish; we lie to save ourselves. I'm worried about the audience on this one. I want to entertain.

Before I over-reflect on my statement, I must go on and do this before it gets replaced by new adventures. I must write about the beginning, the middle and the climax (hopefully not in that order). I must write about Life Regarding Australia. Everything from here on is "nonfiction". Where do I start?

(continued...)

Random Lists Mark II

Creepiest Animals that start with C
1. Centipedes
2. Crabs
3. Cats

Most Overrated "Guy Movies"
1. Scarface
2. Boondock Saints
3. The Matrix

Most Underrated Smashing Pumpkins Songs
1. Apathy's Last Kiss
2. Rocket
3. The End is the Beginning is the End

Coolest Ali G Terms
1. Fatty Boombah
2. Batty Boy
3. Bell End

Best Pro Wrestler Characters (Post 80's)
1. Undertaker
2. Bret Hart
3. Sting

Most Hilarious Scientific Names
1. Carmenelectra shechisme
2. Gunterichthys longipenis
3. Cyclocephala nodanotherwon [not another one]

Best Decades of the 20th Century
1. 60's
2. 20's
3. 70's

Worst White Ninjas
1. Michael Dudikoff
2. Steven Seagal
3. Chuck Norris

Coolest Unconventional Cuss words
1. Clusterfuck
2. Fuckface
3. Fucking A

Best of the Year 2007

• http://www.steveprutz.com/best2007.html
  

Mothballs

It smells like a truck of mothballs jackknifed as I cross the River Bridge. I don't even know where to buy mothballs. The traffic is light on a Friday. I am in a good mood after withstanding Pasta Indigestion the night before. It seems I have become allergic to my boiled vermicelli after an excessive incident last November. Fortunately, nothing came up or out of me.

Who invented the moth ball?

I listen to a few Sonic Youth tunes as I take the off-ramp. Their new album is supposedly different. I sort of like it. A few songs near the end are worth saving. Kim Gordon's songs aren't worthy. The last track, "Or", is really haunting. Weird forced-sex lyrics.

What warranted this age-old war on the moths and their brethren?

Another day of work. Will I have the guts to leave such an easy job? The people here are nice, and I can do anything I want. Probably the best job I've ever had. I think the "no business training whatsoever" thing is going well for me. Bring some science to these talking heads. Ooh, another meeting where I can interrupt! These people are weary of meetings.

Mothballs used to be highly inflammable. Did you know inflammable means the same thing as flammable? I did. But, now they aren't. I mean mothballs. Now, they aren't so highly flammable.

I'm thinking about where I am going to be next year. Should I take the whole summer off? My dad and the business world would say "what about the gap in employment?". Sometimes I hate the world of Capitalism. It breeds greed and mistrust. I drive home and see capitalism in action: big cars and big egos. The greedy drivers try to sneak in lanes. They don't want to wait like the good people. They want to get home and heat up pizza rolls and watch "Friends" as soon as humanly possible. They don't realize that the person in front of them is late to pick up their stepdaughter or late to a job they can't afford to lose.

I was at a friend-of-an-acquaintance's home last November. It involved lots of whiskey—the most I've ever ingested. After I woke up, I drove home and suffered a hangover for two days. The pain continued when I tried to eat any kind of grains. Beer, vodka, bread, pasta--it all made me want to throw up. Even at a wedding in December, I could not drink the spiked punch without feeling the dagger in my abdomen.

What god-fearing couple in all of Christendom wants to get married around Christmas? Did some magazine with ulterior motives brainwash these poor people into thinking that winter wedding last longer? I pray I will never know the truth.